Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling blamed, misunderstood, or like you were the problem, even though you were simply being yourself?

If this sounds familiar, you may have experienced psychological projection.

Projection happens when someone unconsciously assigns their own feelings, fears, or unresolved wounds to someone else. Rather than process what’s uncomfortable internally, they externalize it—onto you—often because they haven’t yet learned how to face, let alone heal, those emotions within themselves.

For example, someone who feels inadequate might call you arrogant. Someone who fears being wrong might constantly correct you. Someone who feels unheard might interrupt you and claim you’re not listening.

It’s a subtle but powerful dynamic. Think of it like a drowning swimmer panicking and pulling their rescuer underwater. In their distress, they’re not trying to hurt the lifeguard intentionally, but if the lifeguard isn’t grounded, they both go under.

This kind of energetic entanglement is becoming increasingly common because we’re living in an age of heightened anxiety.

Many people are functioning in a near-constant state of stress without realizing it.

Their nervous systems are dysregulated. Their emotions are suppressed. And without the tools to process what they’re carrying, that energy spills outward, projected onto others.

And here’s something that might surprise you:

Emotionally secure people are often the most vulnerable to this kind of treatment.

Why? Because they tend to be grounded, empathic, and open, which makes them a safe landing place for someone else’s emotional chaos.

Ironically, your calmness can become the mirror that makes another person’s unhealed pain impossible to ignore.

Two of my favorite authors speak to this dynamic beautifully.

Psychiatrist and empath expert Dr. Judith Orloff explains, 
“Empaths are often the dumping ground for everyone else’s emotions. It’s crucial to distinguish between your own feelings and those that are projected onto you.”

Similarly, psychic medium and intuitive author Sherrie Dillard writes, 
“When we repress or deny emotions, we will likely read them in someone else. This is called psychological projection.”

Their insights remind us that maintaining emotional clarity is not just wise—it’s a vital part of protecting our inner peace. And, if this topic resonates with you, I highly recommend exploring more from both of these authors.

Dr. Judith Orloff’s The Empath’s Survival Guide is an invaluable resource for understanding emotional boundaries and energy hygiene.

Sherrie Dillard’s You Are a Medium and Developing Intuition offer deep insight into the spiritual and energetic undercurrents of human interaction, including projection and emotional entanglement.

Their work complements this conversation beautifully and may offer you even more clarity and tools for navigating complex emotional dynamics.

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How to Recognize When Projection is Happening:

• You feel confused, blamed, or shamed, and it doesn’t reflect your truth.
• The person’s reaction seems out of proportion to the situation.
• You walk away questioning yourself, even though your words and actions came from an honest place.

Sometimes what feels like projection is actually part of a deeper, more persistent pattern, like narcissistic behavior. While projection is often unconscious and situational, narcissism is more calculated and repetitive, driven by control rather than emotional overwhelm. Understanding the difference can help you decide whether a moment simply needs clarity, or whether a relationship needs firmer boundaries.

What to Do When It Happens:

1. Don’t take the bait.
You don’t need to defend yourself against something that isn’t yours to carry.

2. Hold your center.
Ground yourself in your truth. Breathe. Return to your knowing.

3. Exit the loop.
If the conversation becomes circular or emotionally charged, it’s okay to end it. You’re not required to stay in dynamics that drain you.

4. Reflect on the relationship.
Was this a one-time moment of reactivity, or is it a recurring pattern? If it’s the latter, boundaries—or even distance—may be necessary for your emotional health.

When Projection Causes Lasting Damage

Projection, especially when severe or repeated, can cause irrefutable harm to a relationship. It distorts reality, creates confusion, and—over time—erodes the very foundation of connection.

Repeated projection—especially when left unaddressed—can create lasting rifts. It chips away at trust, safety, and mutual respect. Even when the behavior isn’t intentional, its impact is real and often deeply felt.

When you’re continually misread, blamed, or made to feel “too much” or “not enough,” it becomes emotionally exhausting. You may begin to question yourself, self-censor, or pull away—not out of resentment, but as an act of self-preservation.

It’s important to understand that not all relationships recover from this kind of dynamic. Sometimes, the healthiest path forward is space or distance, not because you lack compassion, but because the relationship no longer supports your well-being.

So how do you cope—or even forgive—when someone’s projections have left a mark?

• Honor your experience. What you felt is valid, even if the other person never acknowledges it. You don’t need their agreement to claim your truth.
• Set compassionate boundaries. If the person is still in your life, create new energetic agreements—spoken or unspoken—that prioritize your emotional clarity.
• Let go of needing closure. Some people will never understand how their behavior affected you, because they don’t even recognize their own patterns. Their insecurities may keep them from ever apologizing or taking accountability. Waiting for that can keep you stuck. True closure comes from within, when you choose peace over proving a point.
• Forgive for your freedom, not their comfort. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the harm; it’s about releasing the grip it has on your heart. It’s how you reclaim your energy and restore your peace.

Healing from projection isn’t just about shielding yourself from others—it’s about curating relationships where emotional responsibility flows both ways. Where you’re seen clearly, not distorted through the lens of someone else’s pain.

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The Empowered Takeaway

As you heal and become more self-aware, you begin to recognize projection in real time, not just in hindsight. That’s the shift. That’s where you reclaim your power.

• You stop internalizing other people’s discomfort.
• You start protecting your peace.
• You begin leading your life from clarity rather than reaction.

And no—that’s not arrogance.
That’s discernment.
That’s emotional leadership.

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Reflection for the Week

Is there a recent interaction that left you feeling off-center? Take a few moments to ask yourself: Was this truly about me, or could I have been the screen for someone else’s projection?

The more quickly we can answer that question, the more powerfully we stay aligned with our truth—and the less we carry what was never ours to begin with.

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Want to go deeper?
This is the kind of work I support my clients with every day. If you’re ready to break free from projections and old patterns—and stand firmly in your truth—I’d love to help. Use this link to request your no-cost Discovery Session today!