Recently, I saw a meme that said:

“Maybe your final stage of healing is telling them to fck off.”

It’s bold. Raw. Relatable to anyone who’s been hurt or disrespected. It reflects a moment of reclaiming power—and for many, that moment feels like freedom.

But when I saw it, I immediately recognized that my truth was different.

For me, the ‘final’ stage of healing wasn’t pushing people away. It was letting them back in.

The difference? I did it on my terms.

At the beginning of my healing journey, I shut people out just like the meme said—all the ones I believed had hurt me. Walking away and cutting ties with anyone who had mistreated me felt like the logical choice. I thought, “If I get away from them, the pain will stop.” But it didn’t.

Avoiding the pain didn’t heal it. Beneath the silence lived anger, shame, betrayal, abandonment, and a shattered sense of self-worth—emotions I had yet to face. Left unresolved, those wounds eventually took a toll on my health and well-being.

One long and lonely night, I realized the truth: if I truly wanted to heal, I had to stop running and start reclaiming. Reclaiming my power. Rebuilding my self-worth. Taking back control of my life.

The reality is, we teach people how to treat us.

Some relationships could be repaired. Others couldn’t—and not for lack of forgiveness. It’s just that some dynamics are too toxic to continue. And I’m okay with that. I now know I am fully worthy of love, respect, and emotional safety—and I’m unwilling to settle for anything less.

This is the turning point, knowing when to walk away and when to walk back—with wisdom, strength, and boundaries.

True Healing Means You Get to Choose

When we’re in survival mode, we build walls. They protect us. They give us time to breathe, to process, to restore. But eventually, true healing invites us to shift from walls to filters—letting in what serves us, and keeping out what doesn’t.

Letting someone back in doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing.

It means you’ve healed enough to stop reacting and start choosing. You choose your peace. You choose your limits. You choose how close someone gets—and how far they stay.

It’s not weakness.
It’s sovereignty.

But sovereignty doesn’t mean closing your heart forever. In fact, sometimes it means opening it again—with wisdom and hope.

Letting people back in was one of the scariest parts of my healing journey. It felt like traveling an unfamiliar road with no map—vulnerable, uncertain, and full of risk. I didn’t know who would receive me or how I would handle it if old wounds were triggered. But to my surprise, what I found was nothing short of magical. As I reconnected, I began to feel the warmth and love of others in new and unexpected ways—deeper, more genuine, and without conditions. This was the final step in my healing journey—the cherry on top of my metaphorical healing banana split—sweet, healing, and completely worth the journey.

Here’s what “letting them back in” might look like:

• You reconnect, but now there’s a boundary around your time and energy.
• You speak openly while honoring your truth.
• You forgive, remembering what you’ve learned.
• You love, but from a healed place—not from a wound.

Healing can be loud, or it can be quiet. Fierce or soft. For some, the final stage is “goodbye.” For others, it’s “hello again”—but only under new terms. Either way, it’s yours to define.

True Healing Begins With Awareness

In Buddhist teaching, the root of suffering isn’t what happens to us—it’s our attachment to how we think things should be. We suffer when we resist reality, cling to expectations, or hold on to pain. The moment we gently recognize the source of our suffering, we take the first step toward freedom.

Letting people back in—with discernment and healthy boundaries—is not weakness; it’s wisdom. It’s choosing peace over control, self-worth over resentment, and presence over pain.

That’s the path of healing. That’s sovereignty.

This month, ask yourself:

• What does the final stage of healing look like for me?
• Am I ready to reconnect—or ready to release?
• What boundaries have I earned the right to enforce?

Whatever your answer, trust that it’s valid.

You’re not who you were when the pain began. And that’s the most powerful part of all.

“The root of suffering is attachment.” – The Buddha

This part of the journey—learning how to rebuild trust, create healthy connections, and love without losing yourself—isn’t easy, but it is essential. It’s the work that heals traumas,  transforms isolation into intimacy, pain into purpose, and boundaries into bridges. That’s why I dedicated several chapters in my book to this very process. Because healing isn’t just about getting well—it’s about becoming whole. I invite you to explore the book and dive deeper into the practices, insights, and guidance that have helped so many reclaim their wholeness. Choose your favorite format and where to purchase by visiting this page.

Are you ready to take this radical step in your healing journey?
If you’ve done the inner work but still find yourself struggling with trust, relationships, or feeling truly whole—let’s talk. Schedule a Discovery Session today!